I need a breakthrough

I am finding it so hard to separate the old me with the new me. You may be thinking right about now, "what in the world is he talking about?" Its so simple that its complicated enough to make me want to venture back into the old me, however I can not. It would not be in my best interest to do so, number one my life and soul is on the line. I was confronted with a ultimatum that tends to give me goose bumps at the very thought of what was coveyed to me. Sounds serious right? I know, I know I am talking in riddles, this is what writers do.

We like to take the reader on a journey through our thoughts. Lord if you can hear me and I know you can, I am asking and praying for a breakthrough. The pain that I am enduring for my actions and non-actions can not be compared to anyone, however I am the cause that issued out the affect and for that my spirit is in such turmoil.

Thank God for the gift of writing. Thank God for this outlet to make sense of my life and have confirmation that I am not alone. So what else can I do? The answer is simple. Just a moment ago it came to me like a breeze through the tree's, "I may not come when you call, but I am always on time!" There you have it if you're not a true believer! He does exist and I believe He will turn my situation around. Ive been down before and this little man always fought for what I believe in. God will come through again in October for me I know and feel it, I have to stay grounded and lean on His word and not lean so much on someone else who have their own problems. He has a breakthrough for me and anyone who's looking for one. If you need one just ask Him. Talk to Him and just like a father is supposed to do, He will love you and take care of you.

Cho Woods 10/07

Edging God out (EGO)

I came face to face with the struggle of self acceptance in this life. I tend to go back and forth with my faith. I believe it has caused me to lose some favor with my God and His mercy. That’s never a good thing and for me to keep doing this, it is not pleasing to Him who I serve with all of my heart and soul.
Not being in his grace for whatever my wrong doings were, will only make me reap what I sow and cry His name louder and ask, “why me God?” I understand that Jesus Himself was not exempt from life’s perils, so what makes me think I will not have to go through something? I will tell you, “ego.” Ego should stand for, “edging God out.” No longer will I do that, the price is too high for me to bare.

I am currently paying for the words I spoke, howeve it is deserved. Cursing his name was definitely a wrong move because I was angry and being immature with someone else, that hurt’s Him and the ones surrounding me for support. Yet he still forgave me and gave me an audible ultimatum that I will never soon forget. I do not wish to share that conversation, however let me say that it wasn’t a good outcome if I did it again. It scared me and made me man up and take responsibilities for my actions, as I try to get back in his good graces.

I am the child and I know how my own kids feel when they are disobedient and have to be chastised. This time the punishment was warranted, however I am on the road to recovery as I take a new turn in my life. Edging God out is not recommended by anyone. It’s not good for you, your family and especially your soul. He spared me this time, the next time I get tempted to edge him out, my time could be up with out the chance of asking for forgiveness and that will lead me to one place, Hell.