Loving her is listen

Loving her is listening to her! Tune in. If she’s got something on her mind that she needs to talk about, put down what you’re doing, make genuine eye contact, and show her you’re really there for her. Don’t be looking at your watch to see if the game is starting or trying to change the subject to something a little more jovial. Attentive listening is truly an act of love, and offering your full attention when she needs it shows that you honor, respect and value her as a person. Listen to learn. Accept that you probably won’t understand or agree with everything she has to say, and that’s okay. As close as you two are, you’re still completely different people, each with your own unique take on life. By listening with an open mind, you’ll learn more about what makes her tick, how she sees the world and her place in it. This will allow you to be an even more empathetic partner, and allow her to feel more accepted and appreciated for who she is. Hold your peace. Even if you’re busting to chime in with your own anecdotes or commentaries, keep the conversation focused on her. Now is not the time to make comparisons between her hardships and yours or to offer your snappy judgments. Let her feel she has the time and space to speak her mind to you, and she’ll be sure to reciprocate the courtesy next time you need a sounding board. Leave the Superman cape in the closet. She wants to tell you what’s bugging her, but that doesn’t mean she’s asking you to rush in and fix it. More likely, what she really wants is your loving attention and a sympathetic ear while she vents her frustrations or confesses her quandaries. A smart lady like her will probably do just fine solving her own dilemmas once she’s had a chance to get a few things off her chest and hear herself think out loud in the company of a loving listener. Be a mirror, not a maestro. The goal of active listening is to really hear what she’s saying, not to employ your vast expertise to analyze, evaluate or eradicate her problems. If you can accurately summarize or restate what she has said in a way she’ll agree with, you’ll know you’ve done the job well. She’ll feel understood, and you’ll feel good knowing you were able to give her the support and patience she really needed.